Love and Relationships

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Some naseehah to those involved in haram relationships:

  • Realise that you don’t really love her. Why? Because you are hurting her – and if you truly love someone, you would do everything you could to protect them from getting hurt. You are hurting her due to the fact that by you being with her, you are leading her to the Hellfire. You are taking her from the mercy and pleasure of Allah, to His wrath and punishment. If you really love her, you wouldn’t do that to her. If you really love her, you would break up with her and go about things in a halal way.

  • Be aware of the danger. Realise that being in such a relationship is a dangerous thing. The Prophet  said that there is no temptation more harmful to men than women, and he warned us to be wary of it. When faced with temptation, we can easily fall into something which we will later regret. Don’t say that you will be able to resist – for even a Prophet like Nabi Yusuf ‘alaihis salaam acknowledged his inability to do so when tempted by women. But maybe she’s not your girlfriend and maybe you don’t interact with her in that way, because you know that would be haram… maybe you’re just friends with her and all you do is talk. In that case, you should know that just as it’s not allowed for you to have girlfriends, it’s not allowed for you to have friends who are girls either.

  • Increase in ‘ibadah so as to gain taqwa. How to do this? The first and most important way is through praying the five daily salah on time, as Allah ta’ala has stated in the Qur’an that salah prevents one from fahsha’. Also try and get into a routine of making adhkar in the morning and evening, as was taught to us by Rasulullah  , so that you start and end your day in the right way. And fast, for that will serve to decrease your desire.  The purpose of all these things – and all acts of ‘ibadah – is to gain taqwa, because it is the quality of taqwa which will cause us to abstain from haram things.

  • Turn to Allah in repentance when you do mess up. The laws of the Shari’ah are strict with regards to how we should interact with the opposite gender. And in the world we’re living in at present, with all the lewdness and immorality surrounding us, it is very difficult to abide by those laws. It is inevitable then that at some point we will fall short and engage in haram – all of us, to varying extents. When that happens though – and it is when, not if – what we should do is make tawbah and ask Allah to forgive us. This is what He wants, and He is happy when we turn to Him in repentance. Our sinfulness shouldn’t make us feel unworthy of doing so, and we shouldn’t think that our sins are too great for Him to forgive.

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